Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We just shotgunned beers for America
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I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize