When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
