so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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