Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
