Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
