He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We talked him into tasing himself.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
