You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
