i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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