it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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