You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize