Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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