So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
