He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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