I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
