God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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