my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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