dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
