My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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