Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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