i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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