I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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