life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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