What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We are two peas in an std pod
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
