i just google imaged poop.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
