And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
