yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
