why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
