I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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