So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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