Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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