i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i dont even know how to be here
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
