Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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