I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
