Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just pee around me
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
