hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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