I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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