So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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