What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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