he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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