You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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