thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
