Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I bet he comes in French.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
