You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
if only i could text you this smell
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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