I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
