dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
