I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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