so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
