I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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