Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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