All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Terrible idea I love it
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
