Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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