Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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