If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
