I just pynch a tree in the face
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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