awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
