i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
