Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
