thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
do herpes really smell.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
