pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
