elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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