ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
