Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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