I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
