I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just tell him i said nine months
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My vagina just clenched in fear
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
