there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
