Nicole vs. Life
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
last night I used snow as a chaser
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