He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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