I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
