i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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