i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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