Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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